Between Parent and Child Review

I love this book! I am a very practical person, so I tend to like books that are straight to the point, have directions, and examples. Between Parent and Child is exactly like this. This book was written a while back, but definitely a classic that has withstood the test of time. Because it is base on one very important principle, “respect.” This was the first parenting book I read. When I first read the book, I definitely had doubts about it, won’t children run wild then? But then I reflected on my own childhood, my mom and dad pretty much did every single thing the book tells you not to, and I remember how I felt and how it affected me to today, which is definitely not good. The book teaches you very valuable social skills that I believe you can use beyond just with children.

I personally like to compare parent and child relationship with manager and worker relationship. I see a good parent like a good manager. Think about how you want to be treated by your manager at work. You want to be valued and be heard, doing work that you feel meaningful and contributing and involved, you want to be motivated, you want to be treated with respect. You don’t want a manager that is his/her way or the high way, but you don’t want a manager that is like your equal and can’t provide you guidance either. And to be a good manager/parent, definitely requires some skill, and this book helps you see this.

My favorite example in the book is when the author gives a group of women a scenario of a bad morning and a wife ended up accidentally burning a breakfast toast. The author asked them how they will feel and respond if the husband had criticized them for the burned toast. The group responded that they would not be happy and their whole day would be ruined. The author then asked if the husband sympathized with them how will they feel. The group responded that they would be so happy that they would give the husband a kiss. And finally the author asked how they would feel if the husband had say “here honey, let me show you how to properly make toast.” The group got the point, and realized that this is even worse than the first response, and that they would be furious. We as adults often use the third response with children thinking we are helping them, but with this example, we can see how unhelpful that really is.